


The Bestest Birthday Ever

by SockPrincess



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Birthday Party, Deliberate Badfic, F/F, Marriage of Convenience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1950-01-11
Updated: 1950-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 13:18:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17387102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SockPrincess/pseuds/SockPrincess
Summary: Fiddleford has a surprise for his raccoon wife. You'll never guess what it is!





	The Bestest Birthday Ever

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Healy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Healy/gifts).



> Happy EAD Birthday, Healy! I tried really hard to get Fiddleford's voice just perfect, let me know what you think!

"What's this all about, Fiddy?" Trixie, the raccoon, asked her husband Fiddleford. She always called him "Fiddy" because nicknames are a human sign of affection. So she'd been told.

"Well gosh darn dag nag wag a doodle," Fiddleford said, still covering Trixie's eyes with his hands. "It's a golly gee wizzner of a surprise!"

Trixie smiled affectionately at her husband. When she'd been on the run from the cabal of unruly gnomes who TP'd her parents' house and stole all her left socks, Fiddleford had married her to keep her safe. Of course, it was completely platonic, as neither of them believed in interspecies romance. Trixie even had herself a raccoon girlfriend, Randi, who lived in a dumpster in Canada. Trixie wished they could spend more time together.

"Surprise!" a bunch of voices shouted. "Happy birthday, Trixie!" Fiddleford removed his hands to let Trixie see the room full of all of their friends. It was decorated with ripped garbage bags and rotting banana peels. On a table in the middle of the room was a massive cake made out of what smelled to Trixie's delicate nose like old coffee grinds, eggshells, rancid bacon drippings, and a healthy dusting of cat litter. All her favorite foods!

But then Trixie became distracted because standing in front of the cake was her raccoon girlfriend, Randi! What a surprise! Trixie launched herself across the room and hugged her girlfriend. Over Randi's head, she smiled at Fiddleford. "This is the bestest birthday ever!" she said happily.

The End


End file.
